It’d actually be perfect if…

This summer someone gifted us this blue, plastic, blow up whale that attaches to a sprinkler and shoots water out of its blow hole, because, what else, right? For most of the summer it sat unopened on our countertop, because it was hot and 160 percent humidity, and because our grass died (AGAIN) rendering our yard (mostly) muddy. So, for the life of me, I couldn’t get motivated to set this thing up. Continue reading

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I’mmmm baaack, b!tches! (summer update, part 1)

I haven’t posted since Matthew’s birthday. It’s been almost two months. I intend to start posting more regularly again as well as become more engaged with my blog in general now that I’m no longer attempting to work a full-time accounting job in the evenings, so first thing’s first – a quick update on the remainder of the summer – just the things that stand out in my mind.

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Three

Happy third birthday in heaven, my sweet Matthew. Every single day since your passing has been more brutal than I ever knew life could be. I would have given anything for you to have a chance here. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I will never stop wondering who you’d be today. I miss you always, in everything that we do as a family. I love you.

Grief shifts

Today someone (who knows a little bit about Matthew) asked me how I came up with the names Joel and Fredrik. I can’t even begin to describe how badly this hurt. I wasn’t the least bit angry with this person, rather I was just sad. But I didn’t act sad. Instead I proceeded to cheerfully answer the question, giving a bit of detail about how I came up with each of their names… Continue reading