Tomorrow’s our wedding anniversary. It’s been nine years. NINE YEARS. Nine years is almost ten years – a decade. I don’t even know how this is possible. When we married, I was almost 23, and Mark had just turned 22. We were babies. Continue reading
It’s almost Christmas. We found out we were expecting Matthew two years ago ON Christmas, which makes it seem extra unbelievable that he died and also makes this seem like an anniversary that will always suck. Continue reading
So yesterday I had an emotional breakdown on my way to work, because I was sleep deprived and overwhelmed with lots of varying emotions (per usual), and I told Mark, “I am done. I cannot do this anymore. I am talking to her today.” Continue reading
It’s 3:30pm on a Sunday. I finish feeding Joel, and Mark and I dress him and ourselves for the cold weather as quickly as possible, so we may run an errand, while Joel, hopefully, falls asleep in his car seat. Our goal is to kill two birds with one stone – we hope to avoid the dinnertime fussy period that can result from no afternoon nap whilst attending to some unfinished business that is picking out new throw pillows for our living room. “I don’t want Joel to choke on one of these errant feathers,” Mark recently suggested, and I agreed with his sentiments. Continue reading
The most wonderful time of the year started with a bang, as a “friend” whom I haven’t spoken to since Matthew died apparently thought I would enjoy receiving a combo birth announcement/holiday card. In summary, I did not like it, Sam I am, and I’m also left perplexed as I try to imagine the sender’s line of thinking – like, “Hmmmmm… I haven’t spoken to Christine since her son died, and sending her this card to inform her that my baby arrived safely when one of hers didn’t seems like the perfect way to reconnect!” I worry that the sender lacks logical thinking skills crucial for survival. Or just thinking skills in general… Continue reading
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