Since Matthew died I’ve kept mental count of the number of nonbaby loss moms I’ve met (so this excludes those I knew “before”) whose company I’ve enjoyed enough to the point that, if I were to run into them again, I wouldn’t necessarily want to drop dead right on the spot rather I might actually consider having a second conversation with them, which might (gasp) lead to a friendship. And, aside from those I met through a small book club I joined (which has since dissolved), the number is one. Continue reading
Today it was 70 degrees in February, and Joel’s babysitter called in sick, so I stayed home with him, and we went to the park. I put down a blanket and placed him on it so he could watch the slightly older kids play. I watched too as some moms interacted with their kids, and I could feel a lump forming in my throat, and it was kind of hard to breathe as the familiar thoughts washed over me, “I will never be like them. I don’t think we could ever be friends.” Continue reading
Thinking of your blender… and you… but mostly your blender.
Recently I’ve been reminded (in the most bizarre of ways) that we have one extraordinarily special blender. It’s practically a national treasure, it seems. It’s commercial grade – the one you’d find at St. Louis Bread Company or Smoothie King – it’s a Blendtec. And Mark purchased it several years ago from Amazon for ~$7,000. Continue reading
Complex feelings over a not-so-complex email
“Hi Christine! It’s been a long time since we’ve chatted and caught up. I’m sorry I haven’t reached out to you. Now that tax season is over, I wanted to see if you’d like to get together for lunch sometime. Are you available in the next few weeks for a lunch date? Look forward to hearing from you!” Continue reading