The other day I was texting with a friend like, “Hi – how are you? Fine. How are you? Long time no talk. Want to do lunch soon? Anything new in your life? Etc. etc. etc.,” when suddenly, out of bumf#ck nowhere, totally off topic, this friend texts me, “Kathleen (long lost acquaintance) had a baby boy yesterday.” Continue reading
“I’m not sure you were ever normal, even before Matthew died,” a baby loss mom friend recently texted. Continue reading
There’s officially no hope for me.
My therapist recently explained that those who are happiest in life have this crazy amount of faith – faith that things will turn out okay, faith that not only is there a heaven but also that they and everyone they know/love are going there. When someone dear passes they’re fine with waiting out their remaining time on earth until they’re reunited, etc., etc. It’s not the minimum requirement mustard-seed type of faith, like it’s a faith in the form of virtual certainty. Continue reading
Written before lunch today:
At the end of last week, not even ten minutes after my anxiety attack had subsided (as much as my anxiety can subside), I received an email from my boss entitled “various stuff.” In the email my boss told me she’d like to do lunch to discuss some new, exciting software and also “catch up” as “she doesn’t see me very often these days.” Continue reading
Last Monday we had our anatomy ultrasound for little Finch. (I’m using Finch to refer to this baby until he’s born… Flicker came in a very close second, and some people said they liked Falcon as well, so it was a difficult decision.) Continue reading
“What kind of character traits would you wish for him to have as an adult?” Continue reading
I wish I could say I’ve found meaning in my tragic loss of my child.
I wish I could say someday I will.
Oh you beg to differ?
You’re wrong. Continue reading