Peanut

The other day I was perusing Instagram, and I stumbled upon a D-list celebrity’s page, and she’d just made a sponsored post for a newish app called Peanut. It’s basically like Tinder for mommies – you sign up, and it shows mommies near you, and you can swipe a certain way if you think you have something in common, or another way if you think you don’t, and when you find someone, instead of hooking up, I guess you can meet at a park or coffee shop for a playdate… Continue reading

When dates snap me back there

So I’m working on some accounting (this has to be the lamest blog intro ever), and I had reason to go back and look at how we, specifically I, accounted for a sale transaction that took place in October 2015, because I’m accounting for a new sale, and I don’t seem to know what the hell I’m looking at, so I need an example… Continue reading

Trivia night and a special painting

Last night was our local support group’s trivia night. I’m on the fringe of the planning committee, which means I volunteered to help last year and didn’t fulfill many of my commitments (which, in my defense, during this time period I was either living in the Maternity Trauma Center or adjusting to parenting a living baby, a reality I hadn’t considered pre-July 27), and this year I (with Mark’s help) brought in a couple of corporate sponsorships and auction items (okay, this was mostly Mark) and helped minimally with set up. So, I’m trending in the right direction, it seems, albeit slowly… Continue reading

Life lately – random happenings

The other day I arrived to work and immediately had to sign some bank paperwork for JVB, so she came into my office to harass me for it, and I was like, “How are you?” And she was like, “Welp, my grandma died last week. She was 97.” And I kind of thought to myself, “At least she was 97,” because sometimes in these situations these sorts of thoughts are among my first ones, which is shitty but also fairly unavoidable after having lost my infant son. But I didn’t say this aloud, because I haven’t lost ALL of my social skills. Yet. So instead, I was like, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” And she was like, “Well… She was 97 but, yeah, it’s sad.” Continue reading

So there is someone who, against all odds, maybe I don’t dislike…

Since Matthew died I’ve kept mental count of the number of nonbaby loss moms I’ve met (so this excludes those I knew “before”) whose company I’ve enjoyed enough to the point that, if I were to run into them again, I wouldn’t necessarily want to drop dead right on the spot rather I might actually consider having a second conversation with them, which might (gasp) lead to a friendship. And, aside from those I met through a small book club I joined (which has since dissolved), the number is one. Continue reading

And like that, he’s one

On Thursday Joel will turn one. Soon I’ll start cleaning the house in preparation for his party on Saturday. We’ll attempt to make Joel what will probably, at best, be a pathetic-yet-tasty version of a “Howie cake.” We’ll pick out Joel’s outfit, and I’ll stress about our still grassless yard and about whether we’re celebrating Joel’s birthday appropriately, because I don’t know, as I haven’t been to an event like this in ages, as I still don’t interact regularly with society. We’ll finalize our menu filled with Joel’s favorite foods… Pulled pork sandwiches, green beans, some other sides, watermelon, cantaloupe, perhaps fruits in all the colors, displayed (tritely) in the shape of a rainbow on a giant fruit platter, a subtle reminder of just how brutal our journey was to get him here. Continue reading

Thoughts and happenings catch up

Last weekend Mark’s parents visited with their dog Max, and at one point during the weekend I found spots of blood on the floor in our master bedroom hallway, and I first wondered if I’d cut myself shaving, but I didn’t, and all of the other humans swore they weren’t bleeding either, and I couldn’t recall a homicide having taken place, so we eventually decided that the blood was coming from one of the dogs. So we started playing Pin the Blood on the Appropriate Dog Orifice, so we were taking toilet paper to all of the dog orifices, and we all kind of prematurely concluded that Max was dying, because Howie is far more healthy. Continue reading