It’s been a while since I’ve written… Continue reading
holidays
Finch is here!
Our sweet Fredrik Christopher arrived safe and screaming at 8:26am at 37+0 yesterday, Christmas Eve morning. He weighed in at 9 pounds, so a whole 12 ounces heavier than Joel. He is so precious and looks more like Matthew and Mark than he does Joel and me. He is doing really well and hasn’t needed any help breathing or NICU intervention. He had some initial problems with blood sugar levels, but these have since resolved. Continue reading
Life update
Last Friday we found that Finch’s cord was in a nuchal wrap, which freaked me out so bad, so we ended up visiting the Maternity Trauma Center on Saturday afternoon, and all was well, so we were discharged. By yesterday, Finch had worked his way out of his nuchal wrap. Continue reading
Impromptu mall photo shoot with Santa
So today after I arrived home from work, Mark’s mom wanted to go shopping at Maurice’s at the mall, so I thought this sounded great. We got there without issue with the exception of me having to google an instructional video on how to fold up the BOB stroller, because I’d forgotten. (Mark is a beast and normally just carries this ginormous baby everywhere we go, so we rarely haul along the stroller.) Continue reading
Just missing you… always.
Dear Matthew,
This Monday started like any other normal day. I booked an Uber ride, and five minutes later I watched as a white Chevy Impala bounced down our gravel road and stopped in front of the house next door. I kissed your little brother goodbye and exited our house, walking diagonally across our yard through wet grass. I made an awkward gesture towards the front door of the car, but ultimately chose to sit in the backseat. Continue reading
When the pumpkin patch is so effing complicated
Yesterday afternoon a friend invited me to do some restorative yoga (she knows I need some restoration!), but then we found out the class was cancelled, and Mark was cleaning leaves out of the gutters (so he doesn’t have to go out in his underwear the next time it rains) while his dad was mowing, and Mark’s mom was pretending to help with yard work, and Joel was napping, so I was bored and complaining, so Mark decided that we should all go to a pumpkin patch, since it was October 30, the day before our first Halloween with a living child. Continue reading
Precious moments
My mom came to visit this weekend, and she and Mark got into a debate about who was an earlier walker, Mark or me (because we each walked around eight or nine months). And they were getting weirdly competitive about it, like so much so that they were pulling out baby books to verify dates and calculate ages… And then, because we’re focused on all things baby, Mark randomly popped some of his parents’ home videos from his first year of life into our VCR (yes, we have one of those)… Continue reading
Be gentle with yourself
Until Matthew died, I’d never heard this phrase. Since Matthew died, I hear it frequently. It’s almost as though it’s the anthem of the bereaved parent. Continue reading
chickydoodles 