My baby shower and anger and art therapy

So here’s something shocking… I threw myself a baby shower. Kind of. If you’re offended you weren’t invited, my apologies. Maybe. I would have only invited like seven people anyway, but I figured no one was available for my spontaneous baby shower at 9:00pm on a Wednesday night, so the guest list included Mark, Howie, and me. Continue reading

Prove it

I enter our kitchen after a long day’s work. It’s a cold November night, already dark outside. My phone starts ringing – I can feel it vibrating in my purse. I fumble for it, finally finding it. I glance at the screen. I’m relieved to see that it’s Mark. He’s in Minneapolis on business, doing audit work for one of his many Minnesota clients. His schedule is demanding when he’s out of town. So I’m glad for the opportunity to talk to him – the days are long, and the nights are longer sometimes in my state of intense grief, especially when Mark’s away. Continue reading

Jay – umbilical cord pathology scan 1

We had our first umbilical cord pathology scan for Jay on April 27. Short update – fortunately, no cord issues were noted. But we realize the cord will continue to move, which is why we’ll be looking at it a few more times, though fingers crossed each appointment will be equally uneventful to this one. If you’re interested in more details about my appointment and what the actual scan entailed, read on… Continue reading

South Carolina vacay

We just returned from four days in Hilton Head, South Carolina (Westin Resort) – probably our last opportunity to travel any significant distance for a while because I’m (justifiably) paranoid. Mark’s parents joined us for the trip. And, to be fair, we also invited my parents, but they declined our invitation because they’d “rather stay home with their dogs.” And I’m not sure what this says about my parents or about us. (Though, in full disclosure, unfortunately, one of their dogs is dying, which royally sucks and renders their decision more reasonable.) Continue reading

When tables turn

She enters my office and shuts the door. She sits down across from me. It’s a cold, Friday evening in January. It’s after hours, already dark outside. My office is nearly pitch black, as there’s no sunlight coming through the window – no sunlight to make up for my lights being off. Only the light from my two monitors illuminates my face. The light from the hallway transforms her into a shadowy silhouette like from one of those crime shows where they black out the witness to conceal her identity. I abruptly stop what I’m doing. Continue reading