Sketchy office behavior, and the shame I still feel

There’s a chance I screwed up… Anyone who’s been following me for any length of time knows that subsequent pregnancies are difficult for me to share, so I tend to hide them and disclose only on an as needed basis (except my whole sharing on the internet business, but this is different than in real life, somehow), especially at work. Continue reading

Circle

Today’s been a bit of a cluster, and now here I sit catching my first breather, and I’m feeling a bit (or a lot) on edge. Mark was supposed to leave early today for a business meeting, so Mark’s mom was going to fly in right in time to help with Joel at my 9:00am doctor’s appointment. Continue reading

Erased (warning: this may be incoherent)

Ughhhhh, I’m supposed to be working on budget stuff, but I had a therapy appointment at 7:00am, and it was so extra draining, which usually catches me by surprise, as I’m already pretty drained and also accustomed to talking about Matthew and my issues, but my therapist has a talent for asking me questions that dig deep and reduce me to tears and heaving sobs almost immediately. Also, I learned that my therapist used to be a stockbroker, which isn’t contributing to my emotional reaction, but it does blow my mind. So I feel like I need to process some of this here before I actually go about my day – like when I spew things onto the internet I can function better… Continue reading