I’m Christine. I was born in 1985. I live in the middle of the USA. I’m a mother, a bereaved mother, an accountant, a sports enthusiast, a recovering reality TV show addict, and I often do yoga in a very half assed manner.

I started this blog three months after losing my first child, Matthew, during my third trimester of pregnancy. I reject the notion that “everything happens for a reason.” Though I have a strong support network, I still find it difficult to exist in this post-child-loss world as I often feel isolated in my grief. I’ve always been a magnet for odd situations, but now, life just feels like one ginormous, odd situation, as society as a whole doesn’t seem to “get it.” I write to process the emotions resulting from this as well as to share Matthew’s memory.

I have almost no filter – I’ll let the occasional F-bomb fly with little regard for who from my real life might be reading. Because when life gives you lemons, it’s healthy to blow off some steam.

I’m outraged that 26,000 (1/160) mostly healthy at, or near, full-term babies are stillborn each year in our country. Yet no one talks about it. Well, I’m talking about it. And I give zero shits who’s uncomfortable. Because we need more awareness, and we need the medical profession to do better.

I hope that, if you choose to immerse yourself in my “weird collection of stories,” you’ll feel at home, almost as if you’re sitting across from me in a coffee shop, listening to me tell said stories in my usual dramatic fashion. Through my writings, I hope I reduce you to tears, incite anger, inform, inspire, and invoke laughter. And, if you occasionally leave wondering, “What in the actual eff did I just read?” then even better.

Other Cast Members

Mark is my husband, best friend, and soulmate. (Yes, I can pause while you gag yourself with a spoon.) He’s also an accountant who possesses an oddly diverse array of other talents in areas such as automotive repair, electrical, plumbing, HVAC, and general home construction work, and dog whispering. Mark plays basketball and enjoys sitting in boats waiting to catch fish that’ll never bite. He’s also a compulsive shopper – I constantly compete with our daily Amazon shipment for his attention.

Matthew is our firstborn child. He died on July 13, 2015 when I was 32 weeks 4 days pregnant following an emergency C-section after a several-hours-long hospital stay. One minute, doctors were only mildly concerned over some variable decelerations in his heartbeat. The next, his heartbeat had plummeted dangerously low. Until this moment, my pregnancy had been uneventful. Matthew was completely healthy and beautiful – a true knot + two nuchal wraps in his umbilical cord cut off his oxygen, killing him.

Joel is our second child born July 27, 2016.

Howie is our six-year-old goldendoodle. He still has his balls, because Mark was weirdly against removing his manhood, but it’s not like we let him hump everything in the neighborhood, so it’s fine. He has a curious affinity for almonds and an equally curious disdain for pooping, like so much so that he doesn’t actively poop, rather when he lifts his leg to pee, the poop just sort of falls out of his butt, like dewdrops gently rolling down a window pane.

AB & JVB are friends from work who frequently appear in my posts, as we’re annoyingly cliquey and eat lunch together every freaking day. They’re two of maybe six left at work to whom I’ll speak if I can help it. Lunch conversations could include, but aren’t limited to, topics like Craigslist safety, modern farming techniques, and strategies for locating persons who’ve gone missing in and around our metro area.