People like to ask me how I performed kick counts in my pregnancy after loss, probably mostly because I made no secret of how obsessed I became with doing them… So I figured I’d devote a post to this topic. Continue reading
awareness
Medical convos that have me SMDH (shaking my damn head)
Scene: I’m in the perinatal center at the “premiere” hospital in St. Louis – the center of maternal fetal medicine – the supposed employer of the “best and the brightest” the field has to offer to serve all of us “high-risk patients” in the region, right? I’m hooked up to the non-stress test (NST) machine, and behind my curtain I hear a nurse speaking with another patient. Continue reading
Jay – umbilical cord pathology scan 1
We had our first umbilical cord pathology scan for Jay on April 27. Short update – fortunately, no cord issues were noted. But we realize the cord will continue to move, which is why we’ll be looking at it a few more times, though fingers crossed each appointment will be equally uneventful to this one. If you’re interested in more details about my appointment and what the actual scan entailed, read on… Continue reading
An open note to ACOG
To The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG): Continue reading
A heart made of gold
I post many negative honest things. I can’t help it. After losing a child, you’re quickly engulfed in a shitstorm of devastation and anger among other emotions. And, to make matters worse, so many don’t understand child loss or grief, so you’re also subjected to others’ insensitive words or actions. Continue reading
Artists and lone wolves
Right after Matthew died, I left my bed only to meet visitors in our living room. One day, though, I just couldn’t. That day was especially dark, my “I want to die” feelings particularly intense. Mark warned ES I wouldn’t get up, gave her an easy out. But she visited anyway. Continue reading
Matthew’s death FAQs
So when I tell people Matthew’s story, most of them are like “WTF!?!” And then they ask questions. I don’t mind – I actually prefer inquisitive people, especially over those who keep their heads shoved up dark places. Continue reading
chickydoodles 