Happy birthday, sweet Matthew. We had a quiet day in your memory – ate at our favorite breakfast place, brought bright red, pink, and purple flowers to your grave… Your brothers picked out the flowers. F asked if the cemetery was heaven, and V kept stealing your tiny balloons on the sticks. We played basketball in the driveway lots today – J is big enough to learn to shoot a layup, but you’d be even bigger. We love and miss you always. At the park I ran into a woman I know who lost a son 30 some years ago – she told me she is sad for some part of every day. So am I. Especially today though.

Stranger than fiction – Viv Covid

So it’s been awhile, and we have some big news. On February 9, 2020 we welcomed our fourth child, a little girl, Vivian Christine. She weighed 7lbs, 14 ozs and was 20 inches long and was born healthy and screaming. She’s 12 weeks old now and is doing great, and her brothers love her – Joel said she’s “his favorite person.” And we’re so beyond thankful to have her here! Continue reading

Howie died. So now we have Winnie.

It was difficult to know what/how much to tell Joel about Howie. The morning after we put Howie down, I probably did everything child psychologists tell you NOT to do as it relates to explaining death to kids… I first didn’t say anything at all. Then, when Joel, with a confused look on his face, went to go feed Howie, I explained, “Howie took a vacation.” He seemed to accept this much to my relief. Continue reading

“It’s like this.” Maybe. (A book review. Sort of.)

I recently read a book for book club called Tell Me More: Stories About The 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say, by Kelly Corrigan. It’s been one of the most helpful books I’ve read as it relates to grief and life, and I think it should be required reading for all of humanity. I don’t know that it’s really considered a “grief book.” But it is about how tough life can be in general and thus tackles a lot of rough stuff, so, needless to say, I could relate to it. I should also mention that Kelly Corrigan has a sense of humor, so although this is a heavy read, there are lighter parts, maybe even a few laughs, in here as well. Continue reading


I posted about this on Instagram, but I figured I’d elaborate here… We recently had to say goodbye to our sweet fur baby, Howie. We had Howie for about ten years – he was our first “child” before we had real children, and he was with us through a crap ton of both good and bad times. For some reason the bad times are sticking out in my mind more, particularly job loss and moving and home building (which wasn’t all bad but was pretty awful before I knew what truly awful felt like) and obviously Matthew’s death. Continue reading