Today’s been a bit of a cluster, and now here I sit catching my first breather, and I’m feeling a bit (or a lot) on edge. Mark was supposed to leave early today for a business meeting, so Mark’s mom was going to fly in right in time to help with Joel at my 9:00am doctor’s appointment. Continue reading
umbilical cord accident
Tomorrow it’s back into the fire.
Today I’m 30 weeks pregnant, and tomorrow is our first non-stress test (NST) and biophysical profile (BPP) with baby Finch. In other words, tomorrow is the day I jump back into the fire. Continue reading
Finch update and other fascinating tidbits
We had our 28 week ultrasound for Finch this week. He looked great! We even saw him taking some practice breaths. He’s measuring in the 97 percentile (no surprise), and, it appears that, to date, he has no cord entanglements, which is such a relief. Continue reading
On kick counting
People like to ask me how I performed kick counts in my pregnancy after loss, probably mostly because I made no secret of how obsessed I became with doing them… So I figured I’d devote a post to this topic. Continue reading
So, this just happened…
Today I shared something about Matthew on my old Facebook page (which I will be shutting down within 24 hours). Hopefully 236 random “friends” are now more aware. (Yes, I can be pretty freaking impulsive.) So far, the feedback has been supportive, and no one has said anything dumb, and some have even opened up about their own losses. Continue reading
Medical convos that have me SMDH (shaking my damn head)
Scene: I’m in the perinatal center at the “premiere” hospital in St. Louis – the center of maternal fetal medicine – the supposed employer of the “best and the brightest” the field has to offer to serve all of us “high-risk patients” in the region, right? I’m hooked up to the non-stress test (NST) machine, and behind my curtain I hear a nurse speaking with another patient. Continue reading
Jay – umbilical cord pathology scan 1
We had our first umbilical cord pathology scan for Jay on April 27. Short update – fortunately, no cord issues were noted. But we realize the cord will continue to move, which is why we’ll be looking at it a few more times, though fingers crossed each appointment will be equally uneventful to this one. If you’re interested in more details about my appointment and what the actual scan entailed, read on… Continue reading
An open note to ACOG
To The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG): Continue reading
Artists and lone wolves
Right after Matthew died, I left my bed only to meet visitors in our living room. One day, though, I just couldn’t. That day was especially dark, my “I want to die” feelings particularly intense. Mark warned ES I wouldn’t get up, gave her an easy out. But she visited anyway. Continue reading
Matthew’s death FAQs
So when I tell people Matthew’s story, most of them are like “WTF!?!” And then they ask questions. I don’t mind – I actually prefer inquisitive people, especially over those who keep their heads shoved up dark places. Continue reading