So I was “nominated” for a blogging “award” called the Getting to Know You Award, which I put “nominated” and “award” in quotes, because it’s really more a request for me to answer some questions, because I don’t think there’s an actual trophy or cash prize or anything. Or IS there? But regardless, it’s kind of the best thing that’s happened in about a week, besides Joel babbling some syllables resembling “mama.”

My blogger friend “Annie” at Sleeping on the Diagonal nominated me, and her name has to go in quotes too, because I’ve learned it’s a pseudonym, which might be a problem when she becomes famous, because OMG her blog is fabulous. Seriously. Read her posts about her dates with the Ginger Viking or the Scottish Viking or Narcoleptic Nate, or just any of them, and you’ll understand why she’s kept me laughing over the past year. (Not an easy feat, by the way.)

I follow mostly blogs written by other baby loss moms, but I found Annie one day in a WordPress forum for new bloggers (because writing is my hobby, and I interact with others mostly from behind my computer screen now), where I linked my post re: support group, and some jerk commented like, “With all due respect, your post is too long.” And Annie jumped to my defense, so then I checked out her blog, and I’m so glad I did.

So, ANYWAY, the questions I’m supposed to answer…

Who are you named after?

I don’t remember for sure without calling my parents, but I recall mentions of popular 80’s tennis pro, Chris Everet Lloyd, who I believe went by “Chrissy,” which is also what I went by in another lifetime. I spelled it “Chrissy” too, but then in elementary school I went through a rebellious phase and insisted on changing it to “Chrissie,” which seemed more en vogue. I was called Chrissie through college, but when I entered the professional world, I reverted back to Christine, because, at the time, it seemed more distinguished – like it would improve my chances of career success. Now I don’t care about things like career success. So maybe everyone should call me Chrissie (or Chrissy) again.

Do you like your handwriting?

Handwriting? I’m a millennial. I do my writing on computers. My hand quivers when I write. Each week I sign checks for my company. Mark’s grandmother recently exclaimed, “Oh – you much have an impressive title to be signing checks!” I assured her that I do not. She was disappointed. My employer is probably disappointed too… My signature is easily forgeable – my scribbles look different each time. My favorite part of signing checks is when I get to sign one made out to Vag Transportation. Gets me every time.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

It was thinly sliced honey ham. But then Mark toured a meat plant and told me a little about it…

Longest relationship?

~16 years. Half my life. I started dating Mark my junior year of high school.

Do you still have your tonsils?

I had them removed at age five. Coincidentally (or not), I haven’t had strep throat since age five either.

Would you bungee jump?

One of my bosses lost his wife at a young age. After Matthew died, he explained to me that each year on his late wife’s birthday, he’d do something adventurous – something he thought that not only would she have enjoyed but also something that would get his blood pumping and heart racing – something that would make him feel alive when he otherwise felt dead inside (think kayaking down a raging river). I like this idea, provided, of course, that whatever I do doesn’t put my life in jeopardy (for Mark and Joel’s sake). Perhaps bungee jumping is in our family’s future.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Of course not. Ain’t no one got time for such things.

Favorite ice cream?

At the moment the piña colada sundae (light vanilla custard with toasted coconuts, pineapple, and bananas) from our neighborhood custard shop.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Their spirit

Football or baseball?

Football. Baseball is boring as f#ck. But now I don’t really care for football either ever since I watched the movie, Concussion, sooooo… Basketball.

What color pants are you wearing?

Black leggings. My uniform.

Last thing you ate?

An apple

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Black? It’s literally the only color I wear. And I’m kind of a Debbie Downer always talking about tragedies and how you never know when it may be your last day alive and shit. But maybe gray like a cloud? I know, I know – I sound like such a barrel full of monkeys.

Favorite smell?

A bonfire in the fall

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

Mark. Then my boss. And then Mark again.

Hair color?

It’s naturally blonde, but after Matthew died, I dyed it dark brown. I’m considering going blonde again though, because the dark is kind of difficult to maintain, and it doesn’t stay as dark as I’d like it to for as long as I’d want it to.

Eye color?

Blue

Favorite foods to eat?

Anything Mexican, especially enchiladas and chimichangas

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies, usually

Last movie you watched?

Concussion? (See above re: my waning love for football.)

Favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving. I like how there’s great food, but it doesn’t carry all of the pressure of Christmas, and there’s a guaranteed Thursday AND Friday off work. Also, in some years, Mark’s birthday and Thanksgiving closely coincide, which can be fun. One year early on in my relationship with Mark, I joined his family for Thanksgiving, and there were like 20 relatives there, and it was also Mark’s birthday, so Mark’s parents kind of combined the two holidays and made us go around the table and each speak about why we were so thankful for Mark. Mark and his parents loved it. Everyone else kind of cringed.

Beer or wine?

Wine

Night owl or early bird?

Night owl

Favorite day of the week?

Saturday

Nominations?

There are so many blogs I love… I assume this has to be a WordPress one. So I’m nominating Randi. She also writes on grief and loss, and I appreciate her candor and humor. No pressure to do this though, Randi – I know you’re super preoccupied!

Favorite quote?

I’m not sure… There’s so many beautiful quotes on life and loss. I can’t pick just one. I tend to enjoy snarky ones I see on Instagram though, like this one:

“It is okay to lose your shit sometimes because if you keep your shit, you’ll end up full of shit and then you’ll explode and there’ll be shit everywhere. A shit storm. And nobody wants that.” – Someone from the internet

It reminds me of something from back in the day that I could have seen on Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey on Saturday Night Live. During my childhood I’d usually watch SNL with my mom, until she’d turn the channel at the first sign of something sexual.

And this quote is also so true and really validates me in my propensity to lose my shit on a regular basis.